Ask Kanika · "Hi Kanika, thank you so much for responding. I submitted the query about the man…"

Okay, so as this is something that I'm very familiar with, obviously I have the disorders I can explain to you from my perspective what is going on here. So if somebody is orbiting us and depending on us to make plans with them, see them, you know, lavish them with gifts and whatnot, we see them as inferior because if you're kowtowing to me and you're waiting on me and everything revolves around me, it's clear that I'm in a superior position, I'm on a pedestal and you're not and so that's why I say don't be available all the time, don't be asking them for their opinion, don't validate them, don't ask them to validate you. So in terms of being hot and cold, it's not just like you're warm and friendly one day and then you just don't reply the next day. It has to be a very tactical maneuver.

So one thing that I like to do is to get them to reveal something very vulnerable about themselves and the way I do this is to fake a vulnerability because I would never actually reveal what my vulnerabilities are. So I would say something like, oh you know this is what happened to me as a kid and I'm not lying because, you know, I had shit happen when I was a kid but you can say whatever is nece