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Ask Kanika · "Loving the Consilium! Thanks K. How do you deal with a BPD friend?"

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Ask Kanika — answering a member question: "Loving the Consilium! Thanks K. How do you deal with a BPD friend?"

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Okay, so I do have borderline friends, although they are very rare because I'm not the type of person who can handle a borderline as a friend. I'm a pretty chill person. I don't like the heavy involvement that you need when it comes to a borderline, like the constant replying, the constant keeping the same tone, the constant just dealing with the same thing over and over again. Like, I just can't, I can't do that.

I'm low energy, so I like people who aren't high maintenance. But if you do have a borderline friend, I would say the most important thing is to set down some boundaries because you do need them. Otherwise, they will steamroll you. Also, there's this weird thing where they make them look like saints, and they make the other cluster bees look like demons, but borderlines have a very dark side to them as well.

If you watch Fatal Attraction, you'll see that in Alex, like she is proof of how much damage a borderline can do. Make sure your own boundaries are not erased. Make sure that you have the time to yourself, you're not constantly answerable to them. Give them support, give them sort of reassurance of whatever, if it's really needed.

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